When Two Tribes

The heavyweight clash of the Kiss festivities was the titanic staff versus students face-off: Superstars. Ella Thornton reports

A bass guitar plays. The sports hall fills up. The sweets are, thankfully, being sold at 20p and you know this is going to be both triumphant and hilarious. Perhaps a little loud – the screaming teenage girls outnumber the boys. The acoustics of the sports hall make the cheering sound like we’re in a stadium, which befits the event taking place. This buzzing event was incredibly well organised by deputy head girls Izzy Nowosinska and Francesca Green.

Superstars is always a knockout, but it seems that this year more people attended than ever before. You should know I’m a rather nosey little thing – I overheard that this event sold several hundred tickets plus quite a few wristbands.

This incredible event brings together the competitive nature that burns bright in each of us, the awe of seeing a teacher in a herculean struggle and the hope that once again the stunning students will crush the teachers.

One of the highlights of the entire experience was the stand-off between Simi of Year 13 and Mrs. W. Howard of the old drama corridor. They competed in an arm–wrestling contest which began with an ‘ooh’, like most of the events. They lowered themselves onto their seats and positioned themselves, each cracking their knuckles. They both took the strain. It was tense at first as brows knotted and biceps bulged. Mrs Howard’s arm went back as Simi strained. Then in a flash, Simi had won. A triumph for the students. Unfortunately, Simi had her arm hovering above the table which is against the rules, so a repeat was ordered in which Simi, once again, won to an eruption of cheering.

The weight-lifting competition between Marcin and Mr. Miles was a meeting of two Hercules from different generations. It seemed obvious to me that the latter would win outright, nice and quick. Marcin began with a 25KG weight in each hand and started the bicep curls. He was steady with his face twisted in concentration; the hall went silent. Following him was Mr S. Miles, all-round legend and strong man who lifted the weights as if they were nothing. He started quickly. We cheered and ‘whooped’ and then his left arm gave in and a shiver went up our communal spine. However, long story short, Mr Miles won, and we didn’t mind.

Lastly, I’d like to remind you all of the chin up competition between Jack Willis and, a surprise to us all, Mr. Richardson. Jack was suited and booted in sports apparel – which I thought was highly appropriate for the task he was about to undertake. However, Mr. Richardson wore jeans and a t-shirt. I felt this was cool, as if he was so confident that he didn’t need the moisture-wicking benefits of sportswear. I expected Jack to win. After all, he’s a young man but I knew nothing about Mr. Richardson. They each jumped up to the bar and, on the whistle,they began. Jack was doing well and racking up the chin-ups. But, unexpectedly, Mr. Richardson was fast – like, really fast. My mouth was open, seemingly stuck that way, with the shock of my brain being unable to compute how a chemistry teacher could do this. Mr. Richardson won convincing in his jeans - the rate of reaction was commendable!

All in all, the teachers won which was disappointing. But everyone raised a huge amount of cash for KiSS and ultimately that’s all that matters.